"Take care to get what you like or you will be forced to like what you get."

"The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player."

"Few people think more than two or three times a year. I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week."

"The reasonable man adapts himself to the world; the unreasonable one persists in trying to adapt the world to himself. Therefore, all progress depends on the unreasonable man."

"Do you think that the things people make fools of themselves about are any less real and true than the things they behave sensibly about? They are more true: they are the only things that are true."

"Marriage is popular because it combines the maximum of temptation with the maximum of opportunity."

"If we are immortal it is a fact in nature, and we are not indebted to priests for it, nor to bibles for it, and it cannot be destroyed by unbelief."

"It is good for us to be here."

"'Twas Christmas broach'd the mightiest ale; 'Twas Christmas told the merriest tale; A Christmas gambol oft could cheer The poorest man's heart thru half the year."

"Changing husbands is only changing troubles."

"At twenty a man is full of fight and hope. He wants to reform the world. When he is seventy he still wants to reform the world, but he knows he can't."

"Soar, eat ether, see what has never been seen; depart, be lost, but climb."